23 December 2008

The one about Lipstick Jungle and reflections on friendship and life.

This morning while watching Lipstick Jungle (three cheers for DVR!), it dawned on me how very odd it is that I love this show so much. I can't relate to these women on.any.level. They spend more on one outfit than I spend on clothes in a decade, they are driven career women, they obviously feel quite at home in "the city" and they all adore and trust each other. This is by far my biggest sticking point. I don't have girlfriends.

I have mentioned before that I prefer the company of men and while there is some real truth in that statement, it doesn't take away from the real truth. Oh.. what IS that truth you ask?? That truth is that I know that a friendship - a REAL friendship with a woman - will never work. I give up before it starts. I look for trouble to reinforce this idea along the way. I make excuses. There are some very valid reasons for this - and I won't get into it here, but suffice it to say that I have been badly burned by women claiming to be my friends, and I just don't see any reason to allow the possibility of that happening again.

I see women opening up to each other and sharing and relying on each other for advice and support - and I am so envious I almost puke. And then I remember the flip side of that is the kind of vulnerability that I just am terrified of. Once a woman knows so much about you, she can use it against you. And my experience is that she usually does. Say what you will about men, but I have never been betrayed when I have confided in a man. Ever. Women "sell" themselves as loyal, all these "girlfriends" mugs and keychains - but men really ARE loyal as friends.

Which brings me back to this show... I think we buy into it all - and we may even be able to admit that we want it. At the end of the day it takes a lot of patience and courage not just to be a friend but to allow others to be your friend. Sometimes I think I have that kind of patience and courage. And then I realize - I don't. Not yet. Maybe never.

Oh yeah - and I am SO glad that Victory and Joe are back together and I think Shane is acting like an ass.


Sandi said...

I've never watched that show. But I know what you mean about women friends. I do have some good women friends, but I'm so much more comfortable in the company of men. What you see is who they are. No cattiness, no competition. Not all men are that way, but a whole lot more than women!

iFred said...

What you say about men is true as long as it is outside of corporate life. In my career, I never knew who to trust with anything. The back-stabbing and stepping over other people while climbing to the top of the corporate ladder made me sick.

I had many acquaintances at the office, but very few true friends, except women.

Sad to say, women were more trusted because, for the most part, they weren't stepping over people climbing up the ladder because of the very real "glass ceiling."

I always hated that because I knew several ladies that could have been great at managing the company. I'm hopeful of seeing that change more and more.

Marvin the Martian said...

Interesting that you can enjoy a show that's so alien to your mindset. I'm glad you like it! I have never seen it.

I get along best with women, because men are always playing "big dick." I have nothing to prove, and I tire of such silliness. Ergo, women are easier to get along with. But I agree, from what I have observed: women are absolutely vicious to each other. I can't understand it.