31 August 2008

Get thin - or else!

This isn't brand-new-hot-off-the-presses new but it sure is new to me... This is in Japan...

companies and local governments must now measure the waistlines of Japanese people between the ages of 40 and 74 as part of their annual checkups. That represents more than 56 million waistlines, or about 44 percent of the entire population.Those exceeding government limits — 33.5 inches for men and 35.4 inches for women, which are identical to thresholds established in 2005 for Japan by the International Diabetes Federation as an easy guideline for identifying health risks — and having a weight-related ailment will be given dieting guidance if after three months they do not lose weight. If necessary, those people will be steered toward further re-education after six more months.


Apparently their goal is to reduce diabetes and stroke. Guess they didn't get the memo that there is no scientific proof to back up this plan...

Can you imagine if your taxes went up because your local municipality had too many "metabo" (short-hand slang for "Metabolic Syndrome")? Holy crap! There would be witch hunts everywhere! Or what if we got fired for being too fat? Think the unemployment rate is ridiculous now??

I hope they repeal this soon. There is a protest movement involving sending 1000 fat cranes to the Japanese Government. I like the idea. Problem is that it will fall on deaf ears... "Clazy fat Amelicans... We can't risten to them or we get fat rike them!"

30 August 2008


My first try at PhotoHunter. The prompt was "beautiful". This was easy for me - after years of trying to get William on a bicycle we learned for sure this summer that that would not happen - at least not without first addressing his gravitational insecurity. The physical therapist recommended William get a trike - so... we did. And for this mom, seeing my son at age eight finally able to ride a cycle - even if it is one with three wheels - is beautiful... that and well - he is so darn cute! :D

Lost Socks - PSA

I decided to not do the metaphor thing. It was wildly tempting when I saw the prompt at Weekend Wordsmith this week. Decided to be silly instead...

Lost Socks. A Public Service Announcement

They are alone.
Unable to find their way back.

They are the lost socks.
Socks carelessly thrown into the washer without regard for the dangers awaiting socks in the wash:
Slipping under the agitator,
Falling behind an appliance,
Stuck to velcro - or worse... inside a pant leg not to be discovered for months to come.

Don't let this happen to YOUR socks.
Bag 'em up.
Stick them together.

One thoughtless, callous act on your part
Can part your socks

28 August 2008

Dog Humor

So... As you likely know my dog Gunther has diabetes. Right now we are trying to get him regulated and so I must test a urine sample several times a day. To do this I simply slip a test slip under him at the right moment.


This dog who could barely drag his butt off the patio last week to relieve himself now finds it necessary to run 3 laps around our half acre fenced-in yard before he decides on the proper place. He does this, I am sure, to laugh at me trotting around behind him with the test strip in one hand and the container (to compare the result with and determine the reading) in the other...

Yeah, Gunther... hysterical.

BTW - the dog in the picture is not Gunther. Gunther is slick enough not to laugh at me right in front of me, but I KNOW he is yucking it up as soon as my back is turned.

We are what we are drawn to...

Apparently I am "The Coach" - which i'll take as a positive omen considering I can be called to sub beginning next week!

Thanks to Tricia at Miss Rumphius effect for the cool test. Oddly accurate actually!

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

HFDS - The Coach

Humanity, Foreground, Detail, and Shape

You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on what's in front of you (the foreground) and how that is affected by the details of life. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to deal directly with whatever comes your way without dealing with speculating possibilities or outcomes you can't control. You are highly focused on specific goals or tasks and find meaning in life by pursuing those goals. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.

The Perception Personality Types:


Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

Gunther Update

Well - he seems to be better. I think this was directly related to the hypoglycemic episode and not so much the diabetes itself. He was dosed yesterday at 20 Units just once (in the morning) and his readings for yesterday showed a nice curve... including one negative reading though so I want to check with the vet to see if we should keep it at 20 or try 18...

He seems much more himself the last day or so... Maybe we have him stable now. I hope.

25 August 2008

I hope I am over-reacting.

Gunther had a bad night last night. Hypoglycemic episode. Lots of panting - anxiety no doubt, couldn't get up on his own... Then we thought we had it pretty well regulated with peanut butter and karo syrup and saltines, but it increased again through the night and I found myself coaxing him down the steps at 3:30 this morning to help him get outside (thought maybe he had to pee) and give him more saltines and pb and syrup... This morning I talked to the vet who said that what we will do is monitor his levels throughout the day today and not administer any insulin until tomorrow morning - and then to give him less. And only in the morning.

My concern now is that he seems lethargic and he is not walking right. He CAN get up on his own but his legs are so stiff. He doesn't seem himself. I wonder if there isn't something else going on, along with the diabetes... even though all the other bloodwork was apparently fine... or if he is just not interested in playing this game.

I worry we are running out of time with Gunther. I realized the other day while looking for baby pictures of William that is is difficult to find any that didn't have Gunther in them as well... Thought I'd share one...

24 August 2008

If you haven't seen this...

You owe it to yourself to watch - Maybe someday SOMEONE can explain to me how neither TaiChi nor WuShu was accepted as an olympics sport while - heaven help us ALL - Synchronized swimming IS...


23 August 2008

When an Ear is a Tooth

Thanks Bonnie at Weekend Wordsmith for this week's prompt - I had fun with this one! :) We've all been there with this one I am sure...

When an Ear is a Tooth

What is wrong with that guy?
Is he crazy?
Wandering from case to case
Opening door after door
Mumbling about pea pods or green beens -
Vanilla Ice cream or Neapolitan.

Wait -

I see it now -
His blinking right ear...
Is a blinking Bluetooth.

Ah. That explains it all...

22 August 2008

Yeah - Well, Who Asked Me?!?

Today, at my gal Mindi's blog, Moms Need to Know, she trashed the wide leg pant. Min - ya know I love ya, but here is where you and I shall part company. You must never throw the baby out with the bath water. One single commandment condemning all wide leg pants does not do the fat girl any good...

As with any fashion, there are rules for pants. One must follow rules if one wants to avoid looking dumpy. These rules are for those of us with a more ample ass (among other things)...

First - WRITE THIS DOWN ON YOUR HAND SO YOU DON"T FORGET: It is not about size. It is about fit. The number you see on the tag doesn't mean a damn thing. It is just a subjective number thrown on there by the manufacturer. A 14 in a Gap pant will not necessarily work for the gal quite comfy in a 14 from the Avenue. Does this mean it is time for a meltdown if you can't squeeze your bottom into a 14 at the Gap? Uhm no. It means GET A BIGGER PAIR. There's a reason women's pants don't sport waist measurements or anything else on the outside tag. It's called: WHO CARES?? Just as long as you look smashing, darling! Get over it and get a bigger pair.

Okay - next: when choosing pants/trousers/knickers - whatever you want to call them, the ideal silhouette for pants is going from your widest part straight down. So - if your widest part is quite wide this actually necessitates a wide leg pant... right?

Also: You need to wear a heel most likely. It is a rare gal who can pull off a flat in a wider leg pant. Doesn't have to be a go-go boot with 5" spiked heels - but you are going to need a little lift. Just insures that you don't look like you have PJ's on. Ya know?

Waist - not too low, not too high... And please!!!! NO MUFFIN TOPS! EW. Gross. And rise - well - make sure you fit in there. all together. No one wants to see your undies sticking out. Don't tell all those little chippies who think it looks all hot to have their thong sticking out the top of their pants and sporting a peek at their ass-cracks. It makes them look cheap - but they don't want to hear that - they would throw back that we are just jealous - okay. yeah, whatever. Bottom line - fat girls - NEVER do this. You don't have that kind of margin for error. You can most likely get those skinny chicks back in the cleavage department - but that's a post for another day.

If you are short, you should stay away from a crop pant. Arguably also capris, but until someone can tell me how to keep my legs from sticking to my car interior it is capris all the way for me when it is hot out.

Okay - so that is the scoop on pants... Oh yeah - I almost forgot - stay away from a pattern on the bottom. Some may argue with me on this point, but I truly think that none of us need any help creating the visual illusion that we are BIGGER on our bottoms - right? If I am wrong - go on ahead and wear that large floral print on your butt. Rock on... more power to ya!

20 August 2008

Gunther Update

Once again, it would seem that the Proximity Principal works for me... I took Gunther to the vet yesterday. The new vet. And I like him. A lot. He is taking a much more relaxed approach to treating Gunther's diabetes. No glucose curves (as he said, it is too stressful for the dog and for the owner), testing with urine-strips, not a blood glucose monitor. This matches my ideas on this case exactly. Gunther is a senior dog and I do NOT want his last months or years to be filled with needle pricks and many overnight stays at the vet's. I don't know how long he will be able to hang out with us, but I don't want it to be miserable for any of us. I return this afternoon to learn how to give him a shot and then we are off and running.

We are using Novolin-N insulin, 30 guage syringes (incidentally - one needs a prescription in NJ for syringes but NOT for insulin. Fascintating) and Keto-diastix. I have managed to find some good deals online for the syringes and the testing strips. So it will be just under $4 per day to treat Gunther's diabetes; two shots - one urine test.

We spilt his food into two servings, he gets one third in the morning and the remaining two thirds in the evening. He is allowed to have protein snacks through out the day. He can even have a little peanut butter if we buy him the natural peanut butter - the other has too much sugar.

To help track everything I downloaded a program called Diabetes Logbook X (sorry windows users - this is a mac-only application). This is FREEWARE and was developed by a mother to track her young (3-1/2 years old) son's medicines etc. Geek that I am can't just keep track in a notebook like the rest of the world, LOL! I plan to donate to Diabetes UK at the developer's request...

19 August 2008

Bloggers... question for you...

When a reader makes a comment to your blog that sort of requires a response, do you respond by commenting on your own blog or on theirs? Or do you do something else? Thanks!

18 August 2008

Cloudy with a chance for secrets

Part ten of Rebecca's Saga... Thank you to Bonnie and GMOM for uhm - "nudging" me forward a bit. Comments, requests, suggestions etc are appreciated... want to read more? Please, see the sidebar!

Rebecca felt almost guilty knowing more about this girl's life than she did. Why would Vince have told her about Caterina without cautioning her not to tell Becky? Or maybe he meant to but was interrupted by Becky's call than night? In any event, Rebecca felt awkward having been burdened with this huge secret.

Mercifully, Becky changed the subject - talking once more about band camp. Rebecca never knew there was so much drama among musicians. She was grateful for the distraction however and listened intently.

After lunch, Rebecca walked Becky back to the shop. She noticed an old sign in the window that she hadn't noticed the day before: Garrett Glass ~ Garrett Lewsinski Proprietor. She smiled a faint smile and as she traced his name with her finger she realized how odd it was that she had just assumed that Garrett Glass was "her" Garrett's. Sort of arrogant in a way - assuming that the universe is ordered the way she imagined.

Rebecca headed back to her house. There would be no time for her to investigate at the library. She still had wallpaper to scrape in the halls, and linoleum to rip up. Her mind wandered to the possibilities of what could be under that awful floor. She concentrated so intently on the possibility of beautiful wood flooring that she didn't notice the blue truck edging up beside her.

"Rebecca!" Vince's voice startled her from her daydream. "Need a lift?" He asked.
"No, Vince. I do not."
"I was headed to your house - to finish the estimate" Vince offered, not noticing the edge in her voice. Rebecca's bike stopped quickly scattering gravel onto the asphalt. Vince pulled the truck off to the side of the road and put on his hazard lights. Rebecca suddenly felt trapped. She was going to have to talk to him - but she desperately wanted to avoid it.

"Flat tire?" He asked innocently.
"No, Vince. Not a flat tire." Rebecca's curt reply startled Vince. He stopped a few feet away.
"What is it then?" he asked.
"Vince - I am not going to have this conversation with you here. Not now." Rebecca started to pedal away again.
"What conversation?" Vince tried to follow her on foot, but the bike took on speed as she went down a small hill so Vince hopped in his truck. Rebecca's mind was racing. Maybe it would be better to have the conversation away from her house - here in the middle of the road. Neutral territory and all. She felt irrationally angry with him and knew she was really angry with Garrett. But DAMN IT he was not here to yell at and SOMEONE had it coming.

She skidded to a stop again - Vince passed her again in his truck and pulled over again. For a moment - neither one of them moved. Vince watched her in his rearview mirror. Rebecca straddled her bike with her arms crossed.

"I'm not getting out, Rebecca."
"Well, I am not moving."
"What is the problem?"
"How could you?"
"How could I... what exactly?!"
"Not tell her!"
"Ah." Vince opened the door and slowly walked toward Rebecca. She didn't move - only her eyes grew wider.
"It wasn't my idea, Rebecca -"
"Don't you think I realize that? But you could have told her anyway. After. Maybe she would have liked to meet her mother after she lost her father, Vince! Her MOTHER!!!"
"It's not like you think it is."
"Oh really?" Rebecca moved away from the bike and shook her hair out of her helmet and moved her hands to her hips "How is it then?"
"She's a drunk, Rebecca."
"Becky's a drunk?"
"No - my sister. Becky's mother. Caterina is a drunk."

Rebecca didn't know how to feel. She was confused. The Garrett she knew would not have been involved with a drunk. He was the cleanest, most straight-laced kid she knew - too smart for that stuff... How did he let that happen? While her mind raced, she didn't notice Vince putting her bike in the back of his truck or the dark clouds looming overhead.

"Please get in the truck Rebecca"
"No - I am almost home. I'll just - " Rebecca noticed her bike was not where she left it - "Vince - put my bike back. I want to ride home. You can't just assume that I want a ride. You -"
"Rebecca - it is going to pour in about a minute. You have at least a half a mile to go. Let me drive you home."
"No. Give me my bike."
"Rebecca - it doesn't -"
"VINCE" she was extremely agitated with him now "Just give me my bike!"
Vince took the bike out of the truck and returned it to her side. Then he got in his truck and drive off.
"Good." She thought and put her helmet on.

As she pulled away the skies opened up and she was drenched. By the time she got home there were puddles in her sneakers and enough rain running down her face to hide the tears. A little bit down the road she could see Vince's truck slowly pull away as she pulled into her driveway.

She parked her bike in the shed and ran into the house, quickly closing the door behind her and shrinking to the floor exhausted and emotional. She sat very still - waiting to hear his truck pull into the driveway. It never did. She knew he had waited to make sure she got home okay and while she was somewhat touched by his kind gesture she was equally relieved she wouldn't have to hear more about his sister, Becky's mother, the drunk. Not today at least.

15 August 2008

Simple Magic

Hopping back in on the Weekend Wordsmith Challenge this week... the prompt is "Laughing Baby". Couldn't resist a couple cue pictures of William giggling - he was such a happy smiley baby... Anyway - here is my poem, Simple Magic... Enjoy!

Simple Magic

Simple, magical laugh
Erases sorrow,
Distracts pain.

A reciprocal joy
In innocent eyes
Responding with glee
to my giddy gaze.

It's all worth it
In the end.

Work in Progress

Thought I would share with you my most recent project... I am working on a parade banner for the Karate School, William is my assistant of course! I don't know where I get these ideas in my head - but sometimes I just can see it in my head and basically - with no experience whatsoever, just will it into existence.

Have I mentioned recently how much I love felt? Felt is amazing! You can make almost anything out of felt - it is incredibly versatile and cheap and just fantastic. If you use a sewing machine to finish it actually has a bit of a high-end sort of appearance to it. My goal with THIS banner is to ensure it does not look home made.

Incidentally - the logo is designed to appear as handwriting. You will be able to tell that a bit more once the word "institute: is added under "karate" as well as the phone number. I am pleased with the project so far and am hoping that we can use it, if not at the Waterford Township Days in September - at least in the Halloween parade in October!

13 August 2008

Never is a long, long time.

I would say I will never have another dog, but my grandmother used to say "Never is a long, long time." and what'ya know?! She was right!

Gunther (my dog) has diabetes and I am no longer coming unglued. I have a tentative plan.

The first part of this plan was to get a new vet. Several reasons for that - the first and most practical reason is that I can no longer afford to travel a half hour one way for a visit. Not with the visits that we will need to make. There is a vet a few blocks away - the Proximity Principle (sort of like Acoms Razor) has worked for us with Karate and chiropractic care - let's give it a try for veterinary care. I went down there and talked to the nice girl this morning - got a good positive vibe and made an appointment for Tuesday morning.

The other reasons for needing to switch relate to deteriorating service at our current vet office. Waiting more than a half hour for an appointment to start, another 15 minutes for them to find our chart so we can fork over HUGE amounts of money while they hand you a receipt that attempts to scare you into not saving some money by ordering meds on the internet. UGH! You know - if you didn't charge me $55 for a 10 minute visit, maybe I could afford to buy my meds there... just a thought.

Gunther is an otherwise healthy dog. He is a Shepherd mix and he is 11 years old. I am realistic. I want to try giving him the shots along with finding a balance with maybe a more appropriate diet for him. I can't see him going through glucose curves. He doesn't poop or eat if he is not at home. He just doesn't. This is why we never take him camping. If he responds positively to the treatment, we continue. If he is not happy with the treatment after a reasonable adjustment period - maybe a month or so - or if it changes him, like makes him nasty or if he simply deteriorates, then I will have to consider putting him down. When he reaches the next stage of the disease, I will put him down. I am not delusional. He is a senior dog. I want to help him maintain a happy life but we are not going to make a monstrous battle out of this. I knew from the beginning that he is mine only for a while and then it will be over - but I seriously never thought it would be something like diabetes! He has NEVER been overweight and he has never been fed table scraps - I have done everything I have been asked to do - he is not considered a high risk for the disease - and yet he has it. And it sucks. And it pisses me off - BIG time.

But I digress - for now... the plan is to provide him with care and then go day by day from there.

Back to the title of this post... I am fairly sure Gunther is destined to be my only dog. Never had one before - had a LOT of cats - but there is something different about a dog - maybe it is that they actually notice and care if you are not around. I don't know - but THIS is absolutely excruciating. Don't think I can live through this again. I won't say "never" but...

11 August 2008

So. Wow. THAT was a busy weekend...

Let's review a little bit... Here are some things I learned.

  • Never ever EVER go anywhere NEAR the Schuylkill Expressway on a Saturday Morning on a nice day. We suspect the Philadelphia Zoo to have been the culprit - but it took us forever to get to my mother's on Saturday morning and we blame both the zoo and the TomTom (since it was her idea to go that way...) If by any chance you want to go to the Philadelphia Zoo - don't go on a Saturday. Seriously. Horrible.

  • The listing price for my childhood memories is $59,900 in case anyone is interested. My grandmother's house is for sale. They had an open house and I went inside. Let me tell you - you know how in movies they show someone walking through a place and memories flash in front of them... that really happens. At least it did to me. I walked in and saw that horrible orange and brown floral wallpaper with my grandfather hanging up his coat and singing - it was very emotional and actually a little strange to realize how SMALL things are in that house. I have been in that house as an adult - so it isn't the "things always seem larger as a child" thing. Something else. My aunt and Ron both said they think it is because our house is fairly large and wide open. I guess that makes the most sense.

  • Even if someone makes an incredibly tasty bean salad with garbanzo beans and even though it is very good for you, you must limit your intake. Seriously. Do not have six servings. You will have horrific gas pains. And that is all I'm gonna say about THAT.

  • Hail storms are freaking scary to drive through. If Ron hadn't been there and I was driving home I would have turned around and stayed there until this morning. We were in the Suburban and I seriously thought that a hail stone was coming right through the windshield at any moment. Awful. I have never experienced anything like that in my life. Hated it.

  • Sooner or later it pays off to RSVP promptly. I won a prize at the shower I went to because I was the first to RSVP. I have a policy. Decide right away if you are going or not, respond immediately and mark details on your calendar and throw out the invite. Done. No room to forget. Finally - my madness pays off!

Coming up this week is a trip to the vet because my baby puppy (not - but I call him that all the time even though he is 11 years old) has had two accidents in the house this week - NEVER has accidents - and seems to be drinking a lot. I am hoping for a UTI and not diabetes. :(

I also have to get William to do all this work that teachers feel compelled to assign to children over the summer. Which leads to my rant (for another day of course) about why not just have school all year long??? If they "need" a break why not let them actually have it? If you are worried they will not retain info what makes you think three or four assignments is going to do them any good? Hate this mandatory will be collected and count as your first grade crapola they send home at the end of the year. Ick.

So - there it is... Will keep you posted.

Oooooo... Ahhhhhh...

I've won an award! How about THAT?!?! Look how bright and shiny! First one - well - EVER! Thank you to Drowsey Monkey for this esteemed honor.

And now for da rules...

1. Only 5 people are allowed to receive this award
2. 4 of them followers of your blog.
3. One has to be new to your blog and live in another part of the world.
4. You must link back to who ever gave you the award.

And the winners are...

Froggy at Frog Tastes Like...
Mindi at The Queen Mum
Saphira at The Insanity Called my Life.
Marvin at An Alien Mind
My gal Shana (rhymes with Hannah) at I Promise it Won't All Be about Beer.

04 August 2008

It just irks me...

I'm sorry, but when you retire - RETIRE. Go fishing. Travel the world - do whatever you want but please don't come back! Yeah - I'm looking at YOU Mr. Martin and Mr. Favre... WTH is up with this trend? Have a "Farewell Tour" and make a big deal out of it being your last year - big headlines, lots of interviews and other attention - plenty of lovey-dovey fan mail I am sure...

And then BAM! Oh - never mind. I think I will come back after all. It is to the point now where I don't even blink if someone in sports is going to retire. Who cares? I'll believe it when I see it. Don't get me wrong - these two men - I love them. I think they are rare in the sports world in that they are both polite gentlemen. But still - they have both lost something in the area of integrity with me at least (not that I imagine that either one of them would give a darn about what I think).

Athletes - hear me. Please. If you think you might want to retire - take some time. Make a list of everything that is making you lean in that direction. Write the you of tomorrow a letter today to remind yourself of these reasons... leave only when you are truly ready to leave. This is what I did. Give yourself a little time in your new life to enjoy the freedom and the lightness. Sure - you won't have adrenaline rushing through your veins 24/7 but guess what - you can get used to it. Learn to relax. Not easy. Of course not. But definitely worth it in the end. Have a little self-respect. When you leave. LEAVE. Don't come back.

End or rant.

for now.


03 August 2008

Goodwill Goodness - redux...

Okay - over the past three days I have visited two Goodwill Stores and spent under $50. I got the following:

Talbots LS sweater
Old Navy Jacket
Liz Claiborne capris
BN Sarong with cute little lady bugs on it
Quicksilver shirt for Wlliam
Cute T-shirt for William with VW Beetles on it that says "Don't Bug Me"
A button down SS MacDonalds Racing team shirt (Bill Elliot) for William
Pair of "Police Sunglasses" for William's Halloween costume
2 BN Dry erase markers
24 BN pencils
4 BN Spiral nootbooks
11 BN pocket folders
BN Metal ruler (green)

I think that is all - it was a good week - and let me just say this - if you need or want Halloween stuff - get thee to your local Goodwill IMMEDIATELY!!! You will not regret it!

Happy Shopping!

01 August 2008

Cutting off one's nose to spite one's face...

Okay - maybe it is just me but this guy seems to forget that since he is the landlord - it is HIS house... dumbass.

A landlord was arrested and charged after he crashed his Hummer into a tenant's home because they were behind on their rent, New Castle County police said.


So now, he is not only out the back rent, but all the repairs for the damage HE intentionally incurred - his insurance company will never cover that, plus all the legal fees for reckless driving etc. Someone is just not terribly bright...