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We need this show so very badly - I want it to be wildly successful! Please watch it - tell your friends, your loved ones... I think it is an important show with an important mission.

Here is a summary from Lifetime's Web site:

Did you know that four out of five American women today say they are dissatisfied with their bodies? To help change their perception, Lifetime Television has crossed the Atlantic and brought Britain’s hit reality series “How to Look Good Naked” to the States. Hosted by Carson Kressley ("Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"), the show teaches women of all shapes and sizes how to go from self-loathing to self-loving without resorting to interventions like extreme dieting or cosmetic surgery.

Thank you!

Go Speed Racer, Go!

William takes us for a spin on his new Dirt Quad and tells us how he feels about it... meanwhile, Mommy gets to play with her new digital camcorder and iMovie 08.

Cool.

Surprise! I am solidly Left-Liberal

Who here is shocked?!? LOL - not I! My top three matches:

Dennis Kucinich
Chris Dodd
Hillary Clinton.

I match Mike Huckabee 0%.

Time to own it. I am a Democrat. Can't call myself "Independent" anymore.

I think I can live with that.

Okay - this tiger thing...

And it may be too early in the game to rant about this, but I have to just get this out.

First of all - I will say that when this same tiger attacked a zoo-keeper last year, the zoo probably should have removed the animal from the zoo - perhaps taking her to a sanctuary where she could just roam. I don't know - but keeping her in the zoo seems to have set her up for failure. It was not good.

That said - these so-called victims were asshole kids. It seems they were taunting her - possibly even hanging body parts over the moat. Were they sleeping through the episode of Go Diego Go where they talk about how dangerous these animals are? How physically skilled they are at capturing their prey - how they can go from absolute inaction to a complete attack in seconds - with no warning?? Idiots.

You know - I heard this interview with the parents who were saying the last time they saw their son was Christmas Eve - he went "out" with friends... now in my mind that is so far from okay it isn't even funny. Christmas is a family holiday. New Years is for friends... On Christmas you should be with your family. So - the kid isn't even HOME all day on Christmas and now his parents are whining that they have no more Christmas?!? IS THAT LIKE A JOKE?? Some lawyer is already feeding this bullshit into their little pea-brains. I am just SICK that the zoo is going to be sued over this - the fact that they may have to give these people money irks me beyond belief.

This is just good old fashioned survival of the fittest at work. We should leave nature's masterpiece alone. Don't reward people for raising morons. How you get to be 17 years old without knowing it is incredibly stupid to stick your leg in where the tigers live is beyond me - but your parents don't deserve any money for your stupidity.

And that's how it looks from my chair.

Christmas Dandelion

Today I took the garbage out because we have no idea when they will come for it. While dragging the wheeled cans across the lawn I saw a dandelion. A small yellow dandelion. I picked it and stood in the middle of my front lawn staring at it for what seemed like an hour - trying to decide the significance of my treasure.

In the end I have decided that the message is that even things that seem completely unlikely are possible. That against all odds something that should not be can, in fact, exist and even flourish. I am not superstitious. I am not even religious - but I am spiritual and I believe that the dandelion is a sign that better days are ahead and that even though I may occasionally feel like a fish out of water - completely out of my element - that I am indeed headed in the right direction.

Happy Dandelion Day, my dear friends.

Damn! I don't want to do THAT again!

I have been sick. Strep throat - ear... the whole shebang. It has been a huge pain in the ass - but I am on the mend. Right now I am focused on my career change. Biding my time until I "retire" from the moving and storage industry - 177 days. I get to enjoy my summer! And then I get to substitute teach! I am so excited.

More immediately though I am getting ready for Christmas -decorating, baking - mom stuff. I am happy and content. More so than I have been in a VERY long time. We will have a lean Christmas this year and I am actually happy about that. Sometimes I think we get too wrapped up in "stuff". Honestly - it is silly for me to buy dh anything. He can buy whatever he wants - but I bought him something anyway - something he has been eyeballing for some time now. I told him I don't want anything - but I do need a lot of dental work in 2008 - so I guess you could say that all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. LOL...

Happy Almost Christmas friends!!!

Yes... I will be brave

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?" -Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) You've Got Mail

I have actually watched other movies besides this one - this one just has so many quotes that I adore. Anyway - I have decided that I have been cheating myself all along and really it doesn't matter anymore whose fault it is because at the end of the day there is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that I am the only one who can fix it and the bad news is that I am the only one who can fix it. Just me. Little old me. I have to require more of myself. I have to be brave.

Now - I know that there are people who will read this and laugh wondering how I can possibly consider a career change to be brave. I can tell you - it is scary. Maybe just for me but I suspect that there are many people too afraid to make things right in their own lives. For me it means that I have to look at myself with the kind of honesty that typically stops my heart if only for a moment. It means I have to actually appreciate that which is good about me - that which has value. That which I typically shove down into some dark little corner and ignore because it is so damn demanding. But I am ready. I owe it to myself - not just myself but to my husband and to my son. They deserve a whole me - the best me available. Not this version I have become.

And so I shall be brave. I will learn that even unintentional false modesty is just another for m of lying and the most honest approach I can take is to assess myself fairly - as though I were assessing pretty much anyone else. Fairly and with integrity.

I swear I can do this.

Hmmm... Who knew it would be so helpful so fast?!

So - without getting all graphic and detailed let me share that I have been to my OB/GYN for girl issues (duh.) After several tests I have to report that it is not my thyroid (It is NEVER my thyroid - they ALWAYS think it is but it NEVER is) but I apparently have a hormonal imbalance. Not a shock to me. If you google "estrogen dominance" it pretty much explains everything that is plaguing me of late. I just never imagined that a "real" doctor would entertain that dx.

SO - I started on Natural Progesterone Cream three days ago. I have slept well for the first time in like- 6 or 8 months. Maybe longer. I don't know. I feel more calm. HUGE relief for me. It is exhausting to be panicked virtually every minute of the day. I guess I didn't really expect to see any difference for at LEAST a week. But I am thrilled! If I can get everything else under control I think I might have a big party!

I will go back to my doctor in February - we shall see what he thinks then. In case anyone is interested, this is the cream I am using. You can learn more about estrogen dominance at Dr. John Lee's website (RIP, Dr. Lee).

Enough! Stop the pink madness!

"All right, I'm going to rain on this pink parade. I don't get it. And somehow, as a breast cancer survivor, I feel used," Lu An Cahn said. "The pink ribbon marketing is over the top, and I'm not sure what good it's doing. I wondered if I was the only one feeling this way."

No, Lu Ann, you are not the only one feeling this way. I am all about funding research to cure cancer - absolutely! AND I love the color pink - but this has gone too far! There is pink everywhere on everything and you will not convince me that in many - maybe even most cases - it isn't just those marketing sluts using the breast cancer survivors to fluff up their bottom line.

I purposely don't by things with special pink labels. I make donations to people who are doing the three day - something I might have a go at next year - even though I don't have breast cancer or know anyone who does. But soup cans, Sponge Bobs and VACCUUMS???

It is too much already. If you are a company and you really WANT to supposrt breast cancer research, make your donation and shut up about it already! Don't make it contingent upon xyz amount of donations...

Just do it. (oops - apologies to Nike, one company that I actually don't see a pink ribbon edition of anything - bravo!)

Juicy! Glasses that is!

I JUST picked p my new glasses and I LOVE them! They are Juicy Couture and are exactly what I wanted. In case you can't tell from the pic they are a deep purply-maroon and the inside is pink. The lenses are transitions lenses...

Awesome... A Fat Rant.

I can fake it - acting like this - but I never truly feel this way. Wish I could learn...

Yum - Saturday Morning Scones

Every Saturday morning I make scones. Not from scratch - please, none of my British friends scorn me, I am not to be trusted with baking from scratch, but from a mix that I discovered over the summer at the grocery store. The folks at Sticky Fingers Bakeries tell us that scones originated in Scotland ("If it's not Scottish it's crap") and are enjoyed today mostly at high tea (I just love the idea of tea as an occasion and not just a beverage). I always wondered what they were like, so I just grabbed a bag and made some.

Now we have a nice little ritual - Saturday Morning Scones. Have I mentioned how important I feel rituals and traditions are especially to kids? Having something consistant and regular is all part of their safety net. So now scones have become a part of that safety net in our house.

Now I just need to get brave and try some curds. You have to admit - it just doesn't sound all that appetizing... "curds". Not very inspiring. You know? Maybe they need better marketing. Bundle tea, scones and curds together and call it "Breakfast Enjoyment System". You do know that if you bundle three or more items together and throw the word "system" into the name and you can sell damn near anything. But that is a subject for another day...

Are you KIDDING me???

I have been working at Finders Keepers Moving and Storage (not their real name) for 11 years. More than a decade. I am nearly 41 years old - this is pretty much half of my adult work-life. In 2000 when I had my son, they had the brilliant idea for me to work from home - THEIR idea. Not mine. My boss has always been good to me and I am unable to say no to him, so I agreed.

This sounds like a dream job - I know that. But working from home is lonely - it is not always easy. It takes a lot of discipline - but I have done it. And for the most part it has worked out rather well. SO imagine MY surprise when I received a call from my boss basically telling me that I had to go in to the local office to work or I no longer had a job.

Woah. BIG red flag, wouldn't ya say? Anyway - I asked when they wanted me to start going in - he said he didn't know. I asked what happens in the summer when we are so busy and my son is not in school. He said he didn't know.

Talk about a violent shove out of my comfort zone... I have decided to take this as a wake up call and to start looking for something that may suit me better. It is a hard thing to do - throw myself out there into the job market again. Lots of rejection, something I have never taken very well. I would say ideally my job would be at a school... when I think about that I imagine enjoying summer. I imagine going to the beach with my son for the day. I imagine planting things and actually having time to water them and care for them - time to pull weeds and ensure my flower beds don't look like some scary overgrown forest... I imagine having time to visit with friends, having our kids play together - things that normal people do in the summer. The kinds of things movers never entertain, not even for a moment lest out hearts break.

But it is a looong way from here to there... I sent out my first resume yesterday afternoon... Wish me luck!