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28 March 2008

Fight the Frump ~ Squeezing into shape.


Very controversial among the zaftique is the issue of shapewear. Maybe you want to call it a girdle. Some say it is best to let it all hang out - and you know what, if you are fine with that, that is great. Be natural - no problem. But my personal opinion is that some bumps are better left unseen. I don't so much mind the actual SIZE I am but there are plenty of ripples and lumpy bumpies that I could really do without. Makes it hard for me to wear a shirt without thinking about back-fat appearing every time I sit down - and a girl's gotta sit sometimes, right?

Incidentally, unless I am missing something - and y'all feel free to correct me here - SPANX is not really for fat girls. Spanx is for paranoid chubby girls at best. I am not talking about something that's largest size is an XL... waist measurement being 35.5 inches max. Sorry - that is lightweight stuff. Not the kind of serious body shaping we are talking abut here.


So - let's talk a bit about shapewear. Depending on your issues you may need (or want) more than one - some recommend having one of each - up to you (again - maybe you don't need or want any - Bravo!) You can learn about each type of shapewear at herroom.com.

I personally like a good body briefer - the one that sort of looks like a one-piece bathing suit. This piece is good to trim and define your waist, control the tummy - gives you an overall smooth shape. The cami and the biker shorts are just not options for me as they get swallowed up quickly by the bulk around my middle...
Worst part of the body briefer is the contortionist you must be when it is time to use the lavatory, ifyaknowhutimean...

Now you weigh in on shapewear (nothing better than a bad pun, huh?!?)... Do you use it or not? When and what kind?

In parting I leave you with an old (vaudeville-old I am told) joke:

A man was changing into his clothes in a golf-course locker room when he suddenly heard some loud grunting noises. Walking around to the other side of the row of lockers, he encountered one of his golf buddies squeezing himself into a woman's girdle. When the man had finished getting himself into the girdle, the first man asked, "How long have you been wearing that girdle?"

The man in the girdle sighed and answered, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."

17 comments:

Kendra said...

Ha! Love the joke....Gave me a great laugh for the day.

Valarie Lea said...

Funny! I wear something similare to the spanx but much cheaper. The problem I have with these is if you don't wear it correctly it gives you muffin top. I have thought about doing an all in one except for the horror stories I hear about the bathroom. Thanks for the website info.

Sister Honey Bunch/Judi maloney said...

I have a cheap spanx version too, but it's so uncomfortable. I need to shop around.

Anonymous said...

Great joke!
I wear a couple of different ones for postnatal care. Starting a day or two after birth, they are just to help get my organs back in the right place and heal correctly- NOT cuz i'm worried about looking thin a week after birthing!!! I've used them after the last 3 babies, and plan to again with this one (6th).

Joy said...

I have Spanx- but only wore them right after my daughter was born. The joke- hilarious!

Eternal Sunshine said...

Cute joke!

I don't wear them currently, and the last time I did was 6 or 8 years ago. Maybe they've made serious improvements since then, but I had a slimming "slip" type thing for a bridemaid dress, and it was slimming, but I had to tug and yank, and smooth - It was a lot of work.

I've heard great things about Spanx - they had some "as sold on TV" things I saw this weekend - looked very promising - but I'm always wary of as sold on TV anyway...

Jane of Seagull Fountain said...

I've heard about "Assets" at Target, but haven't bought anything yet. (I thought spanx were really expensive? I'm excited to check out that review site, thanks!).

Love the "paranoid chubby girls at best." I would like to think that is me, but probably I am a "deluded fat girl remembering how she was 8 years ago."

Great joke!

Mackenzies Momma said...

I don't have any but will probably be picking SOMETHING up today when I am out shopping for my little black dress. You know, just to be safe and all.

LOVE THE JOKE!

Michelle@Life with Three said...

Very funny joke!

I don't have any shapewear -- I'm kind of scared that it will be really uncomfortable. I wore something similar for wedding once and it was miserable. I'll have to look into some of the newer options.

Alicia said...

Excellent joke. I need shapewear, but can never find any that feels comfortable, much less even remotely fits. Great post.

Anonymous said...

I just saw a whole TV spot about Spanx today! Cool. I might have to try it. I have just enough extra to need some tightening! Great post.

Christine @ Serenity How? said...

That's a great joke.

I remember growing up and I thought my mom's girdles were wonderful and mysterious. Now I think they're wonderful but not so mysterious LOL! :)

Anonymous said...

I discovered girdles after the birth of my daughter and I have never looked back. I wear Spanx every day and when I wear a suit or a really clingy dress, I will even wear, get this, a long-leg panty girdle made by a company named Rago. It looks exactly like what my mother used to wear. It is not mysterious. It works and gives me the smoothest, firmest butt and hips you can possibly imagine. And my everyday Spanx gives me the confidence I need to wear the dresses and skirts I want to wear. Girdles are wonderful things and it is about time they got credit for it, even though they still strike everyone as funny. Are they comfortable? Look in the mirror when you have one on. Who cares?

Daisy said...

You make a good point Karin - they aren't really comfortable - but like anything else, you get used to it. It is not like wearing uncomfortable shoes where you get blisters. If you get something that fits you properly then it will merely feel snug... not the worst thing in the world.

Thanks, everyone, for your comments this week!

tarable said...

I have a biker shorts type girdle that I was wearing less and less over the years because it was getting more and more uncomfortable. One guess why... I think it's important to try on many types, sometimes if it is too tight you can try the next size up or a different kind. It doesn't have to make you look 2 sizes smaller, just smoother and firmer. I'm inspired to go shopping for something new.

Anonymous said...

I agree. My shoes have caused me more discomfort than my girdles. And don't underrate the mental comfort a girdle will give you. When you get used to them, you feel uncomfortable when you're not wearing one because you're selfconscious about not looking your best.

Texasholly said...

So funny. I think you do what works for you!