22 January 2008

Okay - I'll bite...

I need for someone to explain what this means. Mostly I am looking at any guys (but I am willing to admit some women may be able to decipher this one for me at well, so jump right in please!)who might be reading to please clarify, or surmise, or completely refute this little nugget of "advise" I read earlier today:

Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they're in secure territory. When a man is challenged so he does something about it. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged.

Challenged? Keep them on their toes? What - crossword puzzles and chess? Math facts? This paragraph was interestingly juxtaposed with information about being supportive, warm and trustworthy - all that. So - I am left wondering what they might mean by keeping someone challenged...

Can anyone tell me??


iFred said...

I'm not sure I can find the right words to adequately explain, but I do believe I understand this quote. Men are, by their very nature, hunters and trophy gatherers. Once the hunt is over an the trophy gathered, a man can become complacent and bored. At that point, he may become interested in hunting again; looking for something new and more interesting to chase. This is exactly what leads to extramarital affairs in most cases. "My wife doesn't understand me" can be translated to mean "she no longer interests me." It can also mean that he doesn't feel that she has anything that would attract any other man and hence is no longer a "trophy" in his mind.

Is this fair? Does it make sense? No, but it happens. Ever heard, "She just let herself go after the wedding"? To retain his interest, a wife should not let go of the things that caused him to chase her in the first place. This doesn't always mean a weight gain, as many women may think. It can mean anything that was of interest to him in the beginning. Her attractiveness is only a part of the equation.

You, and others, may disagree and say that a man needs to do the same to keep his wife's interest in him, but let's face it - men and women do think differently - especially in matters of the heart. In this area (and many others, I might add) women are far more logical, realistic and think things out more rationally. It is not uncommon for an otherwise brilliant man to become a very shallow and primitive thinker when it comes to his relationships with the opposite sex. Sad, but true.

This is certainly not an indictment of all men, but I believe it explains the quote at hand.

DaisyBug said...

First, Fred I want to thank you for your thoughtful response. You know I always value your input. Let me just say this: I don't think I get how a woman keeping herself interesting and beautiful challenges her husband - except to say that it perhaps makes him - uhm - what... more aware that she is a catch and that he'd best step up to the plate if he wants her to stay?!?!

But you have my brain off and running on some other points made inn your response - so I hope to post about them more once I get them all together..,

Thanks again for your visit and your response!

Frog said...

Daisy do you have a link to the original 'nugget' ? Was it from a magazine or the internet? From my POV it could be read in many ways, but it sounds like they're saying men are more important than women !! Should I be a challenging man for my woman? Or should I just be nice all the time, get flowers on a regular basis and generally treat my wife like a princess?

I'm just having a bit of fun, but you know what I mean.

IMO relationships are the challenge and both partners have to work on the challenges together :)

DaisyBug said...

Yes, actually - I found it again. I was just floating aimlessly around the internet and stumbled on it - some random link on someone's log and then on to this one:

What Men Want

It is just odd -

Frog said...


Thanks for sharing.... I'll ignore the web address ;)

DaisyBug said...

Yeah - it's weird. I ended up there by random "luck". Sometimes I just wander around the internet - like some people do at the mall. Never know what you will end up with when you do that. I know it is not a credible reliable source - I just thought it was odd. I STILL can't really figure it out though.