"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" -Ralph Waldo Emerson
05 April 2008
What to do...
Okay - so I have a facebook account. I hardly ever use it - for reasons unknown to me I decided to poke around a bit today and stumbled across someone... the dilemma I face is - do I reach out??
This someone was my BFF (obviously not but so I thought at the time) in HS. We were inseparable, We were in band together - chorus, theatre - I called her Boo-Boo and she called me Yogi. We were very tight. In HS I was - hmmm, what is the right word... obsessed? Possibly - but let's go with interested in someone - everyone knew it. I would have done anything to have gone out with him - we were friends - but that is all - I really felt for a very VERY long time that I loved this person. (THAT is a story for another day)
After HS - Boo-Boo and I drifted apart. She was a year behind me - that likely had more to do with it than anything else. One day I found out she was very seriously involved with aforementioned object of my affection. Some speculated they might even marry. No one understood why this upset me and hurt me in strong, profound ways, except my wonderfully perceptive grandfather. My heart split in two. Shriveled up like a raisin. I never spoke to her again. Not directly. Not indirectly.
So I found Boo-Boo on facebook today - and I wonder - should I reach out to her? On one hand - it is almost 25 years ago. I am obviously no longer interested in former love object. No harm no foul - right? I mean - I would be proving that I am over it. Or WOULD I be? Would I just be opening up old wounds? Going back is not something I do. I shut the door - I NEVER go back. EVER. It is just how I am. I am not one of those people who can be friends with ex's... You hurt me? You don't get a chance to do it again. I am not bitter - but I also am not stupid. It is emotional self defense...
So - what say you bloggy friends?? Reach out or let it be???